It’s been said that time heals all wounds. I don't think it’s the time alone that heals, but the changes and motion, whether forward or back, that's the medicine. For me it's been forward motion that has my life on the plus side.
The last two years I've struggled with my emotions regarding the death of my father. Hard, evil, angry, miserable - if it equals the word ugly I've felt it. It’s not a good thing, but we all go through it. Death kills us emotionally and then brings us back to Life. Some people live their life to die. Plan for retirement - don't live for it. Plan to live to a fruitful old age - don't hope to live until you're old.
A few weeks after my father died I had a dream about rats and some other stuff that made no sense. My dreams about him always contained a memory of him, but he was never in the dream. Last night I had a dream and he was there. I was in a kitchen and was serving lemon cookies to two of the kids that starred in the Everybody Hates Chris Show. I think the cookies were lemon because two days earlier I bought an Entenmanns Lemon Crunch Cake. Weird. It was the girl, Tanya and the boy, Drew. We were talking about school and teenage stuff. My father was standing by the side of the table and took a few cookies off the plates and ate them. He was smiling and laughing, but I couldn't hear his voice and he never said anything.
When I woke up I remembered the dream and that he was there! My father was in my dream! He was happy and healthy. He had on his glasses and looked just like my daddy. I thought of the times when I was a teenager and would bake cookies. He would come pick a few off the plate and keep walking into the living room to watch TV. I had a hard time remembering good things until lately.
There has been so much forward motion in my life since 2008. Positive motion. I'm still working on financial stability, but my change is adding up. When you step out on faith you step into you. I miss my daddy. I may have pennies in my change purse, but those pennies are adding up to my IT.
Think about who you are, what you want and what you do. Think about the changes you’ve made or are willing to make to get it. A small change is the catapult for greatness. My dream made me realize that I’m getting there. I’m hurt that my father isn’t here, but I’m living. I’m changing and becoming a better person. At the end of each day I don’t feel that my change drawer is short. I can turn in and know that I’ve done good…I’ve done real good. Do your life math; Is Your Change Adding Up?
Uh…does this dream mean that I need to play a number? (^_^)
I luv you.