Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Thanksgiving Day Do's and Don'ts !

Avoid getting talked about behind your back and to your face by following these simple Thanksgiving Day tips!

 1. Don’t show up with one can of cranberry sauce, one bottle of wine, one liter of soda, or one paper plate. Keep your cheap ass at home...

 2.Do not take food to go for the week / bring your own Tupperware. A piece of dessert is fine, but a few loaded plates is NASTY FAT NASTY GREEDY!

 3.Even if the host says get comfortable, do not take your shoes off and put your feet up or take a nap. Ain't nobody tryin' to look at you like that...('-')

 4.Eat what is served…don’t ask do you have any blah, blah, blah. You don't even have it at home...cheap ass.

 5.Don’t try to be the life of the party. Choke your food down, shut-up and leave the first time the host yawns.

 6.If at any point you end up playing with the children or get moved to the kids table – leave. No one wants to be bothered with you anymore.

7.Don’t use the invitation as a babysitter. “Oh, I have to run to the store or, I forgot something at home.” Take your kids with you if you leave.

 8.NEVER touch the remote control or bring music from your collection. If you start playing an 80’s Thanksgiving CD and the kids wanna hear 2 Chainz yo ass it outta luck.

 9.Don’t embellish or compliment dishes you don’t like. Eat it, say thank you, and vomit later.

 10.If you take your own food because you're allergic to certain stuff, stay home! You’re not that special.

11 .Don’t ask has everyone eaten and plan to eat everything that’s left. That’s just Alien Greedy – some outta this world type hungry.

 12.House Hoppers – Ain’t nobody trying to feed you or be around you like that. It's not that serious.

13. Don't go straight for the liquor cabinet. Drunk dummy...

14. Don't take the last of anything and scrape the dish trying to get it out. YOU FATASS...

15. Don't invite your friends. You barely got an invite...dumbass

16. Talking on your cell phone or Social Media. Once again, you barely got an invite - you are NOT that important!

17. Dressing the part. If you choose to show up with a turkey on your sweater or pilgrim socks - you're stoopid...('-')

18.Don''t tell your Thanksgiving childhood stories. Nobody cares - shut yo' ass way up!

19. Don't make suggestions on how to cook something after you've eaten it.  Ya fat bastard know it all...

20. Leave with who you came with. You came by yourself, leave by yourself. Don't be the skank ass Thanksgiving Ho...('-')