Sunday, May 15, 2005


First, I was fired. Two weeks later, I was hired. The job didn't pan out due to a laspe of insurance in 2002, which I had no knowledge of until 2005, that was on my driving record. I would have to operate a company car in their lot on occasion, and my NYS driving skills couldn't overcome a three year old piece of paper that was shuffled in a mix-up. Of course I ALWAYS rebound and one week after that, I was hired again. I began the job and low and behold, two days later, another employer thought I was the stuff top rate employees are made of and hired me again! So tomorrow morning I shall report for duty with a great attitude in hopes of prosperity and as of late, the very evasive paycheck.

This last month has been a collage of mood changing experiences for me. I feel like I have been driving with a broken brake fluid line and my clutch is corroded. I was forced to shift to keep up and surpass a set speed limit. Some days I drove into barriers. The dents sent me into deep thought and revelations but I gassed up and kept on rolling.

I've been on so many shifts this last month. The first shift was the 8am to 8am haul. I stayed home on those days. Contemplating exactly what I was supposed to do with the confusion filled speed bumps that popped up just when the road seemed paved slapped me into a dazed stupor. 8-4, 4-12, better shift if you want to stay afloat.

A median of a normal steady stream of air is what I desire. I desperately want to go each day without holding my breath, sitting and staring at the telephone, or checking my lottery tickets over and over, knowing the numbers don't add up to the jackpot. My eyes have never lost sight of my writing or releasing my first novel. I never understand when someone said they could taste success. Having to shift to stay afloat slammed the taste of success into my soul. I can smell it, feel it, and even have my clothing chosen for my first television debut.

This shift in my life was unexpected. The fact that I didn't total out or file a claim is excellent. I still have the unsettled jitters of being 'at will', which I plan to dispose of in my future. But in the meantime, I'll handle this shift will the exquisite style that I am accustomed to producing.

Monday, May 02, 2005

The Reason Is...

A new month already. Wow. If you're not having fun does time still fly by? On some days yes. And boy have I measured every minute of my day. I've recovered from my job dilemma but still have not managed to obtain another. Well, I was "hired" by a company but I haven't physically put in 8 hours yet. What's the hold up? If I knew I'd tell you. You know the employed never rush for the unemployed. One day I promise to not allow someone to wonder if they're going to eat on the street or just be on the street.

I've had ample time to write and even received a few opportunities. Everyone says if I'd never gotten fired those chances would have never been available. True. Writing is what I was born to do so every chance I get I'll take it. I've also enjoyed staying home with my Poopah. Looking at her makes me strive to do better. Her eyes have shown me I'm the best thing going so any employer that gets me will have some top notch stuff on their hands!

Each day that passes puts me closer to the day when my novel, Wait For Love: A Black Girl's Story, will be available. I had to take a minor u-turn but I'm a writer. We always persevere. Setbacks make you see how good you have it. There is someone out there who is in a much more dire situatuion than you are, but of couse you don't believe it because you and that person will never meet. I'm fine with that understanding. The one thing that will make my life perfect is simply figuring out what the reason is for the confusion that surrounds me. But then again, who do you know with a perfect life?