Friday, July 07, 2006

Why Can't They Come With Instructions?

I wrote this in 2003 but lately this is all I can think about! GEESH! Enjoy :-)

Do you ever wonder why you never know a person you are in love with, until you get to know them? Most of the time by then it’s too late. You can’t stand them at that point. You loathe, despise and wish you could take the air they breathe away.

Is this the voice of a bitter woman speaking? No, just a wiser one. One that will no longer fall prey to perfect on the outside but… We all know exactly what I’m talking about. The one man that you wasted your entire life for. He says everything you wanted to hear and things you never knew existed. He tells you how the ones that came before him never loved you. Let’s not forget his kind words of how he can make all the tears you cried before leave your memory without a trace. Right.

Lately, I’ve asked myself the question of how the one I thought was so perfect at the start, makes my stomach revolt upon hearing his voice now. Was I ever in love to begin with?

Why sure I was. But some people know how to twist and turn your emotions the right way so in the end, you have no choice but to despise their ass. How many times can an insecure man accuse you of lying, cheating, and being down right no good? How many times in your life should you have to hear listen to me, do it this way or you’re stupid, before you decide that you’re dealing with a broken down jealous, game playing selfish fool?

Ask yourself how much you’ve changed or given up to be with the one you love? Now ask the one you love the same question. If their answer is not identical to yours, you need to do some serious soul searching. I did; and that’s why I’m sharing my thoughts with you.

One thing that drives me nuts is this. Just because no one ever told you something about yourself before doesn’t mean it isn’t true. Sometimes sparing someone’s feelings isn’t always the right thing to do. If they’re having an off day in the breath area, let them know. Just because they have babies running around all over town, doesn’t necessarily mean their penis is the stuff Mandingos are made of.

The solution to my dilemma was simple. I let it all go. The only opinion of me that matters is mine. Let that fool take his perfect baggage into another relationship and play with someone else for a while. I’ve had enough.

But then I thought; it wasn’t fair that I had to go through it and the next person shouldn’t have to either. I know mind reading is not an option, so I came up with a brilliant idea.
Every man should come with instructions. They should have a tag attached to their shirt pockets, so you can read all about what you’re getting into. Hey, we read the instructions on appliances we buy, food labels, CD cases; what’s the difference? I know it’s a human being, but just like material possessions, we break down, too.

I think it would be fair to read about their habits, their attitudes, their sexual behavior and the infamous day they’re going to flip the billion dollar movie deal script on you.

Oh what a wonderful world this would be! No divorce, no separation, no abusive relationships, no he said she said, no baby mama drama and no having to deal with the family that’s all up in your business.

Just think, you can avoid years of heartache, headaches, worrying, wondering and wishing you could click your heels a few times simply by reading a tag. Does this sound like a winning infomercial? Good.

Of course there will also be a side effect tag instructing you on how to behave when their attitude that day isn’t what you expected. They may react a certain way ninety five percent of the time but decide to throw you for a loop the remaining five percent. Never fear; one small tag will prevent you from pulling the last two brittle hairs from your head. Instructions would eliminate so many guessing games and remove the word, huh, from your vocabulary.

You ask am I perfect? Hell no. But having a set of instructions would sure help me to be.