Thursday, March 28, 2013

Weight Loss Tips for Ya Fatass...

If you're trying to lose weight and do any of the ten things listed below, you are a true fatass. Cutting out all listed behavior will reduce your waistline and plump up your wallet a bit. And if you got hungry looking at the pictures...fatass.

10. If you dream about food and start choking in your sleep.


9. If your meals are planned out for the year with snacks included...fatass.

8. When crumbs fall in your mustache or beard - women included, you save them for later.

7.Instead of washing food stains out of your clothes you lick them clean.

6.You have a strategic plan to eat the leftovers from other people's plate.

5. Your dinner table looks like a all you can eat buffet every night.

4. You knock an 85 year old lady over trying to get the last truffle on the plate.

3.You go out to eat by yourself and tell people its date night with  Mac (and Cheese) Salisbury(Steak)

2. You make biscuit and gravy cookies.

1. Instead of praying you start singing, "Memories....like the corners of my mind...", "And IIIIIIIIIIII, will     always love yoooooooou...", "I like big butts and I cannot lie..." fatass

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

VOTE for Luv's Laughing Lady!

Local comedian Jennifer McMullen and one of Luv's Laughing Ladies was recently featured in the local paper the Times Union. She is also a front runner in the Joan Knows Comedy Contest. Please read about my very funny friend and VOTE for her! She's doing big things!

And don't forget to BUY your tickets to the April 20th 8pm show at the Albany Airport Hotel! $10! Food and Drink Specials! The Everyday Living Raffle and a whole lot of FUNNY! I have tickets so hit a sista up! Luv's Delivery is at your service!

Joan Knows Comedy Contest - Jennifer McMullen

Jennifer McMullen in the Times Union




Thursday, March 07, 2013

What Are, "Things You Don't Say To A Comedian!"

1.Make me laugh...
2.That ain't funny...
3.That was funny, but listen to this...
4.Anybody can do stand up...
5.My cousin is real funny...
6. My son is real funny...
7. My daughter is real funny...
8. Everybody in my family is real funny...
9. I could've been a comedian...
10. Have you ever heard of....
11. I might come to your show...
12. You're kinda funny...
13. Oh, I didn't know you are a comedian...
14. Can I get a free ticket to your show...(free died ya dumbass)


15. You only won the contest because...
16. You were funnier last time...
17.You should let me write jokes for you...
18. Do you watch comedy shows...
19. You should go to my friends open mic...
20.Can you recommend a comedian to me for a party...
21. $5 for your DVD...
21.That was a joke...
22.That would've been funny if you said...
23. I saw a comedian last night who was real funny...
24.Are you funny all the time...(who in the %$^& is funny all the time)
25. I'll help you with your show for a small percent...