Thursday, April 19, 2012

My Pleasure Principle

I've waited 6 weeks for this day and now that its here, I can't contain myself. Showered shaved and so fresh and so clean. 8:45 is the time that we meet. I haven't seen her in a year. Of course there will be the formalities - How have you been? Family? Work? And the get down with the get down will begin.

I arrived at her office at 8:38. On the elevator ride up a woman made idle chatter with me but I couldn't hear her. All I could think of was what was going to happen to me. My Pleasure Principle...awwwwwww, yeah...

There was a line of 5 women ahead of me. Slight panic took over. Were they all here for her? Would I have to wait longer to get mine? My heart began beating faster. 6 weeks and now this? The line moved. One step closer...two steps closer...three steps closer and I was at the check in window.

"Good morning Miss Hudson? How are you and who are you hear to see?"

Uh, didn't this heffa know I was here for My Pleasure Principal. Some people need 24 hour on the job training.

"Good morning. I'm here to see..." Just as I was going to say My Pleasure Principle the phone rang.

"Excuse me, Wanda." As I watched her work her lips I decided to tell her when her convo was over that she should invest in a nice pink lip gloss and maybe a dark brown hair color. Mean yes, but she was holding me up.

Her conversation ended and she turned her attention back to me. "Oh, here you are Wanda. You're all set. Have a seat and someone will be right with you."

That's more like it. "Thank you."

I took a seat and prayed that I wouldn't have to wait long. And then I heard the sound of an angelic voice. "Wanda.." Awwww, baby, I was next!

My walked transformed to a light gait. Shoot, that's the most exercise I'd done since the last time I saw her.

"Please step on the scale."

"For what? I know I'm a fat ass..."

The nurse tried to hold her laughter but her ass was fat, too. She knew what I meant. The scale did me justice; not as fat as I thought. Time to celebrate! That's my problem now...('-')

"Just wait in here and the Doctor will be right with you."

"Should I take my clothes off?"

"The Doctor will let you know."

The nurse stepped out the room and I wondered what did the Doctor have to let me know about taking my clothes off? I was here to get mine and no one was going to stop me. I looked around the room for the paper gown and then decided that I didn't need it. It was about to go down. Just as I began to unbutton my blouse there was a knock on the door.

"Come in."

"Hello, Miss Hudson. I'm the Doctor's assistant. I just have to ask you a few questions."

"Should I take my clothes off now?'

"What are you here for?"

"I'm here for my Pap."

"Oh, it says on your chart you're here for a physical."

"Naw...naw..I'm here for my Pap."

"Okay. Let me get the Doctor."

She stepped out the room at the right moment 'cause I was about to beat her. Deny me My Pleasure Principle? She looked like a nice lady who was about to become the six o'clock news headline. Another knock on the door bought me out of my temporary insanity.

"Come in."

"Hi, Sunshine. I haven't seen you in a while. How have you been?"

"I'm fine, Doctor. Should I take my clothes off now?"

"Hahaha..sure. Put this gown on with the front open, place this across your lap and we'll be right back."

They stepped out the room and I heard Marvin Gaye singing, Let's Get It On. I was naked and on the table in less than sixty seconds. Another knock - just what I was waiting for.

"Come in."

They entered again and I smiled. They bought her with them. There she was...lying on the table just for me. My Pleasure Principle.

"Lay back, Wanda. Would you mind if we both gave you a breast exam? She's in residence here and I'm training her.

Four hands on my titties? Awwwww, yea..."No, I don't mind...go ahead." I don't know what they talked about and didn't care. I smiled and thought maybe I shouldn't enjoy this so much. Could it be that I'm a lesbian? Naaaw...personal attention is always a good thing.

"Wanda can you slide down to the edge of the table?"

"Yes." Yes! Yes! Yes!

"Whoa! Slide up a bit; I don't want you to fall off."

Part of my rump was hanging off the edge. Hey, I wanted to make sure My Pleasure Principle got her fair share...hehehehehehehehe...

And then it was her turn...there, ain't nothin' wrong, with me loving yooooouuu...sang the song Marvin...I'm still feeling some type of way.

Next on the list is my Mammogram. I can hear it now...touch me, tease me....Ahhhhh, My Pleasure Principle, don't judge me; a single girl gotta get it in...

I luv you.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

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Tuesday, April 10, 2012

4 Years Off Of Fifty

Last week my friend and I were into a deep discussion about our lives. While she talked about what she wanted to do with hers, I sat in silence and thought about what I was doing with mine. She mentioned that it had been 25 years since the first Lethal Weapon movie, 29 years since Thriller, and a few other 20+ year milestones that tossed one thought to the front of my mind. Dayum! I'm getting old!

On my birthday, which was March 2nd, I turned 46. 4 Years Off Of Fifty. It's a blessing to still be here doing what God created me to do, yet I wonder why its taking me so long to get there?

There is where I think I should be. Too many times I say if I would have graduated from High School and went to College for Communications I'd be a big dog in the journalism/radio/T.V community now. But that's what I say. Shoot, I'd probably have gone to a few wild parties, did some thangs that were illegal and be snuggled up in a coffin.

Planning your life is what we do, how we live and breathe, but it shouldn't be our downfall if things don't go the way we planned. Stop looking back and wondering about your why, and instead look forward and thank God for His how. The power of free will and the ability to make choices falls solely upon you. We fault ourselves for making the wrong choice; it wasn't a wrong choice - it was a lesson to help you get to where you're going.

If I knew then what I know know...NOPE! Your life is as it should be. Take the ups, downs, WTH's and everything else you've done and place it on your Life Degree. The knowledge is yours and you can't give it back. What could have been is what is. I'm so grateful to say I'm 4 Years Off Of Fifty. Am I going to live each day dreading turning 50? Hail naw! I have so much living to do in my right now that I treasure each moment I take a breath!

If you have regrets start right now working to let them go. How many years are you off of living your life? Getting older is only dreadful if you're not enjoying the blessed life that He created you for. Initially being 4 Years Off Of Fifty shocked me. Please, I'm Da FLY Hunny! I've lived, I've learned and I have so much more to enjoy! 4 Years Off Of Fifty? Bring it on!