Saturday, January 13, 2007

Missing You - And You - And You - And You...

Yesterday morning I heard the new Gerald Levert song. The Steve Harvey Morning Show played it as the last song on his show. The intro was Eddie Levert speaking about his son and then Gerald began singing. I honestly can't tell you the name. I think it's called My Songs. He's singing about how he wants to make love/fall in love, get married and do all of these wonderful things while he's listening to his songs.

I was at work when I heard it. I stood up for the entire song - like I was pledging allegience - and damn near cried as the song played. It is a Gerald Levert song, which means it is good.

I am looking forward to his CD. It's weird, but I never bought the Luther Vandross CD because I didn't want to buy the "last" CD Luther ever made. I wanted to always think I could purchase Luther's latest CD. WEIRD. I will buy The CD by Gerald Levert, though. I am 40 years old. Gerald Levert died at the age of 40. I guess I feel like I grew up with him - I owe him.

Death makes you grow up. Lord I can't stand it. I can't tell you how many times I have stared at the picture of James Brown lying in his coffin. Is it really him? I watched a few old film clips of him. Boy could that man MOVE. I watched the services of Gerald and Luther. Did they really happen?

I'm speaking about celebrities - people that lived their lives to entertain. I know death happens everyday to ordinary people like me. I always try to figure out what are the reasons for my posts. Well, yesterday, after a LONG day I was driving home FAST to pick up my Poopah from the childcare center. I cursed because the traffic became heavy and I had to slow down. I was angry about the traffic and cursed because I just wanted to go. My heart hurt when I saw the reason for the slow down. A man lay dead in the middle of the Grand Central Parkway. I saw this. I rode past him. I couldn't believe I saw a dead man lying in the middle of the street. It was dark. The 11 o'clock news would have to verifiy this for me.

The story wasn't on the 11o'clock news, but instead on the morning news. A man had been wandering and was hit by two cars. I did see a dead man lying in the street. I saw that man all day long today. I had to ride by the same spot this evening. I saw him again. I also heard Gerald Levert's song again. Death was just talking to me...telling me it's real.

This post is about spoken love, showing love, feeling love. When you die who do you know will love you? If you weren't married to your husband or wife, or if your children weren't yours would you like them? Do you love them? Lord, confusion surrounds me right now. Young death - old death - unecessary death - or at least that's what we say. Death is a part of the living process.

I'm think I'm rambling, but my heart is heavy right now for those that are gone and for those that are still here. For those that are missing you - and you - and you...I love you. And there is nothing more for me to say.


Ruth said...

The only thing I can say about this is, live a righteous life so you won't die wrong. I live each day as if it was my last day on this plane of manifest. The only thing that matters is my relationship with Father God Allah. I live with no regrets, not having to say I'm sorry and if I need too, I make amends right away. I spread love within my family on a daily basis, and help all that I can within my ability. And when the day ends I am at peace and one with my Father God Creator, at peace with my love ones and I can close my eyes at night and all is right with my life.
Death is part of living and nothing happens that Father God don't already know is going to take place. This is how I live my life.
Another thought for my family and friends, don't mourn my death, celebrate my life.

Barbarajoe said...

Great post Wanda. You really held my attention. I really miss Gerald. I couldn't listen to his music for weeks after his death because I was reminded too much of him. But now I want every song that he ever recorded. Take care...

Vanessa A. Johnson said...

Great post, Wanda. I have felt this way, too, 'will-gathered' like my momma used to call it. "Don't know if I'm coming or going," she'd say. Death surely does have a way of mixing everything up.....All we can do is take it one day at a time and make the best of each moment.

Love & Peace,