Thank You!

Thank you to everyone that came out and supported my first comedy show, Luv's Laughing Ladies! I told yah'll a whole lotta people need a little luv! Now ya butt cheeks are all tight 'cause you missed the first show aren't they? Shame! Keep up with me and stay in the know about all things Miss Luv! Awwwwww, baby!

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Who's that laaaaaaadyyyyy...who's that lady, SEXY laaaaaaadyyyy...^_~

I luv you

Lunch Bag Letdown

Moat parents want whats best for their children. That usually includes wanting them to have better than we did. Food, clothing, opportunities and so much more fall under this category. I never had diamonds or pearls, but the one thing I never lacked growing up was food. Snack food to be exact. No wonder I'm a fatass, but I digress. I don't remember ever being hungry at home or at school. We always had a cake that my mother baked, homemade cookies or something from the grocery store. My parents made sure I had various snack food at home to feast on and in school.  My lunches were either the free school lunch or whatever goodies I packed into a brown paper bag that day. Even the free school lunch had cookies that could be added to it for a small fee. $0.05 for a peanut butter cookie? Ahhhhh, the memories

I remember buying every snack food that wasn't around when I was growing up for my oldest daughter, Diana. That's what my parents did for me. I didn't bother to ask if she liked it, either. It didn't exist when I was a child, it looked good, so she was getting it regardless. I'm still mad about the time she finally told me that she didn't like Glazed Honey Buns and had been throwing them in the garbage. An individually wrapped Honey Bun and you don't like it? In the 1970's  Honey Buns were a treat that could only be obtained when visiting a bakery and you have one just for you and don't like it? Rise up if you're a single mama and wanted to slap your child for wasting food! That's money! It's hard out here for a pimp on the really real real real! Anyway, I found out what she liked and stopped buying food so she could simply have it. Making sure your child isn't hungry throughout the day is a 40 hour workweek task within itself. After all, no one wants to be hungry at school and have to sit and think about the good snacks that await you at home. Torture, I tell ya - pure torture!

I'm on my 2nd go around now with my daughter, Dasia. I've learned not to buy snacks because I want her to have it, but foods that she enjoys. If I'm buying it for her, its for her. I don't eat her school snacks nor do I expect any of her classmates to touch them.  Sure kids swap treats but to TAKE a treat and not have a goodie to give in return is grounds for getting your ass beat rawhide style. Every once in a while I'll ask Dasia did she eat her lunch and what did she have. Gotta make sure my baby ain't starving. Well,  beast mode  consumed me when I heard her response.

"No, I didn't eat that."
"Why?"
"'Cause Jamir took it."
"What? What do you mean he TOOK it? TOOK it when?"
"When were in lunch he took it."
"Does his mother pack him a lunch or does he eat the school lunch."
"He eats the school lunch."
"Tomorrow you tell him that your mother said he can't have your lunch. Tell him to ask his mother to send a snack for his his lunch."

Dasia nodded and went back to being a 9 year old. She was probably upset that Jamir TOOK her Rice Krispy Treat, but not to the point to tell on him. Well I was upset. You don't TAKE anything that doesn't belong to you. You ask and if you're told no shut yo' ass all the way up. Dasia doesn't have a bust yo' ass mouth like her mama, so I know he TOOK it. Various thoughts ran through my mind. Should I call the teacher and tell her to corral Jamir...should I wait for him after school and give him the "I'mma git dat ass glare...should I do a lunchroom drive by and let him know I know what he needs to know and he should know not to TAKE things again? Once I calmed down I thought maybe Jamir's family were trying to get by like most of us are. Maybe they didn't put emphasis on making sure their child had a treat for lunch, but that he simply had lunch. Maybe they're doing to best they can and a Rice Krispy Treat wasn't in the budget. By the way a box of 12 were buy one get one free. I love a sale. I want to kick his ass for TAKING her snack. I don't want to be in jail and my claim to fame is whopping a 9 year old boys ass. There is nothing correct about that.

When I say its hard out here for a pimp that includes single mothers, fathers, families - the world. Trying to keep clothes on a growing child, food, daily supplies - life is a challenging joy. I've come to far to complain. I'm gonna Tweet Michelle Obama and tell her to hurry up with the school lunch program.  When a lunch snack becomes the equivalent of a Benz to a Yugo something is definitely wrong. Taking my baby's treat...

We want our children to do what they're supposed to do - not what hunger forces them to do. I don't know if he TOOK (I'm still a little tight about it but I'll get over it) it out of hunger, or if he thought it was better than what he had. It's sad that a child should suffer through lunch bag letdown and take food regardless of the reason. Minimum wage can't afford minimum food - we gotta do better.

A Letter to My Ex Lover

Dear Fatass,

I know your hungry and shit, but I can't continue to feed you. I simply cannot afford you financially or physically anymore. You eat to damn much! Just greedy for no reason! Really, Fatass, why do you think you have to eat everything in sight? Ridiculous...

Every time I turn around you're plotting and planning about what food to shove into my mouth. So what something is buy one get one free? Do I really have to eat it? And there is no way in hell that I'll ever starve to death. Do you think people believe you when you say that? Oh, and before you continue with the thought of starting a petition because the see thru thong bikni doesn't come in your size - you don't even like looking at your ass naked. Why pass on the pain? Fighting for Civil Rights...you have the right to keep dat ass covered.

Why do you keep hanging around anyway? Yeah, I like Pound Cake...oh yes I love Milky Way bars...uh-huh I can get it in with ribs, too, but see, there you go. Messin' with my mind. Your problem isn't even about eating healthy; its about eating in moderation. Not a fatass' moderation, either.

You ask why I'm angry with you? I can't believe you asked me that! Aight...going into McDonald's and stating that you want one of everything on the menu...ordering ice cream, licking it as soon as you get it and complaining that they gave you to much...eating the fry off the counter that fell from the tray and saying, "I paid for it", while looking around with a stank attitude is too much. Telling people you feel bloated and then getting an attitude when people give you the Lying Fatass Look. The times you make me eat right before I go to bed so I won't get hungry in my sleep - straight fatass with no chaser.

Listen, I'm not trying to come across angry at you at all. I mean, you've been my constant friend throughout it all. I'm sure you'll try hard to be my main squeeze once again but I gotta move on. I'm to young and pretty to be a fat polly wog. Sexy Chubby, Sexy Slob, Sexy Chunky...uhm, naw...can't do it. If you see me walking down the street...a cupcake crosses my eye...makes me wanna speak.. walk on byyyyyyy...just walk on byyyyyyyyy....

And the journey continues^_~

Weight Loss Tips for Ya Fatass...

If you're trying to lose weight and do any of the ten things listed below, you are a true fatass. Cutting out all listed behavior will reduce your waistline and plump up your wallet a bit. And if you got hungry looking at the pictures...fatass.

10. If you dream about food and start choking in your sleep.


9. If your meals are planned out for the year with snacks included...fatass.

8. When crumbs fall in your mustache or beard - women included, you save them for later.

7.Instead of washing food stains out of your clothes you lick them clean.

6.You have a strategic plan to eat the leftovers from other people's plate.

5. Your dinner table looks like a all you can eat buffet every night.

4. You knock an 85 year old lady over trying to get the last truffle on the plate.

3.You go out to eat by yourself and tell people its date night with  Mac (and Cheese) Salisbury(Steak)

2. You make biscuit and gravy cookies.

1. Instead of praying you start singing, "Memories....like the corners of my mind...", "And IIIIIIIIIIII, will     always love yoooooooou...", "I like big butts and I cannot lie..." fatass

VOTE for Luv's Laughing Lady!

Local comedian Jennifer McMullen and one of Luv's Laughing Ladies was recently featured in the local paper the Times Union. She is also a front runner in the Joan Knows Comedy Contest. Please read about my very funny friend and VOTE for her! She's doing big things!

And don't forget to BUY your tickets to the April 20th 8pm show at the Albany Airport Hotel! $10! Food and Drink Specials! The Everyday Living Raffle and a whole lot of FUNNY! I have tickets so hit a sista up! Luv's Delivery is at your service!

Joan Knows Comedy Contest - Jennifer McMullen

Jennifer McMullen in the Times Union

What Are, "Things You Don't Say To A Comedian!"

1.Make me laugh...
2.That ain't funny...
3.That was funny, but listen to this...
4.Anybody can do stand up...
5.My cousin is real funny...
6. My son is real funny...
7. My daughter is real funny...
8. Everybody in my family is real funny...
9. I could've been a comedian...
10. Have you ever heard of....
11. I might come to your show...
12. You're kinda funny...
13. Oh, I didn't know you are a comedian...
14. Can I get a free ticket to your show...(free died ya dumbass)

15. You only won the contest because...
16. You were funnier last time...
17.You should let me write jokes for you...
18. Do you watch comedy shows...
19. You should go to my friends open mic...
20.Can you recommend a comedian to me for a party...
21. $5 for your DVD...
21.That was a joke...
22.That would've been funny if you said...
23. I saw a comedian last night who was real funny...
24.Are you funny all the time...(who in the %$^& is funny all the time)
25. I'll help you with your show for a small percent...

Miss WandaLuv at The Comedy Works!

I luv you

Luv's Laughing Ladies!

LuvMe for Valentine's Day!

Here are the Top 10 reasons you need LuvMe for Valentine's Day -

10. You ain't got no man...
9. Reading is fundamental...
8. It's $0.99 on Kindle...
7. It's better than a box of chocolates - you know what you're gonna get...
6. It's cheaper than sending flowers to yourself...
5.Starring in the Catfish V-Day Special isn't such a good thing...
4. Lance Armstrong isn't going to call like he said he would...
3. The Pope did not resign to be with you...
2. Uh, you ain't got no man...
And the Number 1 reason why you need LuvMe for Valentine's Day -

Because Everybody Needs A Little Luv!

Get LuvMe TODAY via Amazon Kindle!

Dear Diary

June 18, 2007

I’ve always wanted one of those dark chocolate men.  The kind of darkness that makes you wonder if the skin hurts.  The hue almost has a purple bluish tint, but it eludes this shade.  Some women like the high colored man, yellow, a red bone that is close enough to white as a black person can get.  Something about the dark is sexy to me. Doing it in the dark is stimulating, warm, and cozy.  Even with the lights off the world can see a light man do his thing. But a dark man – umph, mysterious deep heat surrounds him. I want to get sexually tingled by his warmth.

Although his luv to me is still a mystery, his appearance is something that I know very well. He’s sexy. That’s all my eyes can see about him. A sexy man that I want to explore.  I don’t want to talk. I want to lick him, to smell him, to squeeze him into my heart and make him luvme.

Staring at someone each time you see them and not saying a word so simple like, hello, is called visual stalking. A court date was calling my name each time I saw him. Moisture always evades my throat making my voice hard, which gave it the right to disobey my non-existent command to open. One day I plan to take him – to tear his clothing from his body and own all that he was born with.

The bow of his legs, the spread of his back, ooh, his deep brown ass has to be my glory. Last week I saw him in a form fitting tee shirt. Women rave over a six-pack. His is a quarter of a keg. A six-pack fills you up, but a keg puts you out. A man’s keg tears you down and makes you beg for forgiveness in tongues. That’s what I want. I want for him to finish with me – just use me, and make me walk like a three-legged dog, or hop like a one-legged frog. I want to whimper and still await his return.

What I have is more than a simple crush. It’s a luv sickness that consumes me. My stomach flips, my eyes flutter, and I have nearly fainted when he passes. He changes his cologne often and each time the scent pulls me closer to him. He is the leader of my mind. My nostrils inhale him deeper and deeper until a passionate confusion kisses me. This dark man was meant to luvme.

My body is not that of a perfect ten. No woman’s is. Everyone has something that does “it” for them. I have breasts that will fit his hands. Ass that he can palm, lips that he will kiss, and legs that he will wrap around his neck and back, and hold onto as he sucks me into his darkness.

He has a woman. My jealously is hard to contain. I smile occasionally at her when I see her. The truth is I hate her. She does “it” for him. He never looks my way. I’ve tried a few things to get him to notice me. If I’m allowed the chance to walk in front of him I switch my ass up a notch. My skirts have gotten shorter, and the lip colors that I wear I imagine he knows will coat his shaft nicely. Yellow and blue make green, red and blue make purple, and my color of bronze brown and his black make luv.

I want what they have together. Realizing that if I had him he wouldn’t luvme the same as he luvs her is what keeps me away. What they share is special. She is lucky and she knows it. Sometimes she flaunts it. Hell, I would parade that beautiful back man, too.

Right now I can see his lips taking her nipple into his mouth…umph, all I can do is imagine that it is I who was in her place. He pleases her, she pleases him, and they are satisfied together. Doing it in color is delicious - doing it in his dark is sweet heaven.

For now I have to obey the rules of their relationship. I know she has laid down the law with him. She has told him that he belongs to her. I would tell him that if he were mine. He will never look my way. He will never look at any woman and desire her as long as she has him.

Still I wonder -- if I were she, would he luvme? 

*************

Dating Wanda!

Dating Wanda will be the next release from Miss Luv's Books! It's a compilation of short stories taken from the comedy routines of me - Miss WandaLuv! Get ready to be thoroughly entertained! Stay in the know with excerpts and the release date at my website , Wanda D. Hudson And please sign the guestbook before you go!

Pass the Extinguisher Please!

Yesterday was the 2nd Inauguration of  President Barack Obama! YAY! What a beautiful day in most neighborhoods. It was also the day the nation has chosen to recognize the birthday of Martin Luther King Jr. YAY! He was actually born on January 15th, though.  Hmmm, one day I'll change my birthday, too. I'm a March baby, but I've always wanted a Summer birthday. July 8th get ready!

Although I enjoyed the bulk of the Inauguration festivities you know you can't please everybody. Usually, as big as my mouth is I try to remain quiet when I don't get it or don't agree - everything isn't for everybody, anyway. Creativity is a beautiful thing and I love to see different forms of expression. Creative beings are a blessing is what I believe. As long as no one gets hurt express yo'self! Unfortunately, people do get hurt. Hurt feelings, emotions and if fools go to far with it, body parts.

Alicia Keys. In my opinion Alicia Keys can tickle the ivory's with the best of them. She can write lyrics that make folks like me think they can win a Grammy. But, er, uh, her singing? Naw, Alicia, naw. Being a hit or miss singer is so not a good thing.

The song, Girl On Fire, is already beyond annoying. I get the lyrics - maybe its because Alicia can't sing. If it ain't broke don't fix it. If it's to' up, throw that shit in the garbage, the non-recycle bin, just get rid of it. Obama's On Fire? Obama's On Fire? WHAT? What the hayle? That child done lost her mind!

Okay...The 2nd Inauguration of the 1st Black President - History. He's black and he got up in the White House twice - History.  It happened on Martin Luther King Jr.'s holiday - History. The history that led up to yesterday - Historic. I saw an interview with  two Freedom Fighters. People went down to Mississippi in 1961 to help register folks to vote. Some of them didn't return home. Obama's On Fire?

So many people went to see him being sworn in because their great-great parent's who were born into slavery couldn't. They carried stories of courage and determination with them to get to this moment and this child screams Obama's On Fire? Burning strange fruit swung from trees. Does she know how many people actually want to set President Obama on fire?

"He's living in a world and it's on fire...filled with catastrophe, but he knows he can find a way...everybody knows Michelle is his girl...together they run the world...ooooooooooooooohhhhooooooohhhhhoooooo('-')

Huh? Is she talking about the leader of the free world? The President of The United States? Together they run the world? This has gotta be some nursery rhyme,  Superman little boy tightey whitey draws stuff. STUPID.

Getting down to Nelly's, It's Gettin' Hot In Here is one thing. Obama's On Fire? Drop it like its hot or even The Ohio Players song Fire brought the heat without burning somebody up. Telling someone you're gonna light their ass up could mean they were about to catch a serious beat down or they were going to beat their meat down. Still, Obama's On Fire? Dayum...

"But, Wanda, her song was cute."
"Cute? His daughters writing that when they were 5 on a personal birthday card to him is cute. Ain't nothing cute about a grown woman singing that for the entire world to hear."
"Is it because you don't like the song?"
"That plus it was stupid."

President Obama has a LONG fours years ahead of him. Every decision he makes will be scrutinized and picked apart. I voted for him and will support him. Its going to rough dealing with all the battles from the outside, there's no need to start trouble at home. Folks already have issues with it being black people day in the first place. Racism is still running a marathon and isn't tired yet. Obama's On Fire? Pass the Extinguisher Please!

I luv you

PS - And why didn't Al Green sing, Let's Stay Together? That would've been hot! Oh, sorry, not On Fire hot, but very nice.

If You Speaketh, Yo' Ass Iseth!

The problem with the world is simple - people are liars. Straight out the box pull my draws down and kiss my ass liars. We should say what we mean because me mean it. Not because its what the other person wants us to hear. Why must we continue to portray ourselves as something that we're clearly not? I just don't get it...

There's a company that offers free business cards. People order the cards and make up a title to put on it just to get the free cards. Why? Ain't nobody thinking about yo' dumb ass like that! Get over yourself fool! Pretending as a child with imaginary friends is fine - pretending as an adult with grown folk will get your ass beat, stomped and talked about for the idiot that you're pretending to be.

I know you're asking yourself why all the hostility. I mean, we're more than waist deep in the season to love thy neighbor, right? Well, if you know me then you know childcare has ALWAYS been an issue. People are not reliable, they want millionaire money or they're simply lazy. There is a solution for every problem - stop relying on the wrong people; family included.

There are websites that list reliable people. Reliable I say because the people listed on the website chose to place themselves there. No one asked for their services - they volunteered without hesitation. Okay, here's a quick rundown -

1 Checked ol' girlie out and she seemed right for the job.
2.Background check completed - YAY no blemishes!
3.Ol' girlie met with me and my child - perfect match!
4. First child care date set
5. The day arrives - no call/no show
6. Huh?
7. No call/no show
8. What?
9. No call/no show
10.


Now why would you advertise yourself and go through all the motions to say you're something you're not? If You Speaketh, Yo' Ass Iseth! Why? Oh, let me make a small correction. Sending a text is the thing to do these days, so after I placed a call to her when she was 15 minutes late and the call went dead, she sent a text.

"I'm runimg a little late I been trying to contact yu all day I cam only txt I broke my phone"

Uh, yea, everybody can't spell but what the hail? A good 16 hours had preceded us without a call or text. Really? Heffa...

My anger comes from the fact that Dasia had gotten two bowls of popcorn ready and two Capri Sun juices so they could begin their movie watching marathon. Standing me up - fine. Standing up my child? Oh, yo' ass is about'ta catch a serious yo name is Toby beatin'!

The night ended well because a reliable sitter came at the last minute in her place. Alas, the popcorn was not wasted after all. But look a-here, if you say you're a Hairdresser be a Hairdresser. Don't have people coming to you and all you can do is one style from the 80's. If you say you're a Dentist, be a Dentist  Don't get down with yours Doctor Giggles style. If you say you're a Publicist, Promoter, Marketer, Agent, blah, blah, blah - be it dammit! Bragging that you have a Facebook page...mutha'&%$#% alot of people have a Facebook  page. Who cares about your wanna be insignificant ass?

The people that are making it happen are making it happen. Riding coattails, running your mouth, and trying to live like the Jones's is old and tired. Besides, the Jones's went bankrupt. We say you are what you eat. Some folks must eat a daily dose of shit. We're on the tip on a New Year. Resolve to do better. Resolve to be better. Talking loud and saying nothing is so over. Click your heels 3 times and repeat after me, If You Speaketh, Yo' Ass Iseth. No what were you saying?

I luv you

Holiday Party Advice!

1. If you’re the office single sexy woman don’t bother going to the party. You’ll start out being the single man’s ho and by the end of the night they’ll have a price tag on you.
2. If you’re the office bow wow Betty go! You might get a pity dance.
3. If your spouse/partner is a recovering alcoholic go alone.  Free liquor equals relapse.
4. If you never speak to a certain person you work with don’t start at the party. Tis ain’t the season for an awkward friendship.
5. Do not stand over the food table and eat. Make a plate and go sit down – don’t look like a pig at a trough.
6. If an email invite or flyers were given out about the party and you didn't get one…don’t ask. There is always one person who isn't liked in the office – welcome to your life.
7. If you don’t drink don’t try anything just because it’s the party. Ho…Ho…Ho…
8. Don’t ask your boss for a raise during the festivities. Happy New Year ain’t so happy with a pink slip…
9. Stay in your role. If you’re the mail clerk or the receptionist don’t try to get in with the higher ups. You are equal to no one.
10. If you can’t dance don’t. You’ll still be a fool the next day.
11. If you've been losing weight to wear a special outfit don’t wear it. They’ll smile in your face and call you a fatass doink behind your back.
12. If you say, "I love you, man!" Go home! You’re drunk and you will NEVER redeem yourself.
13. Don't take alot of food home. Being labeled The Office Greedy Bastard isn't good for a promotion.
14. Don't suggest games to play or Karaoke. No points for being the office kiss ass will be awarded.
15. If someone starts choking don't try to save them. Call 911 immediately! If they die it's your fault - if they live, they'll get tired of thanking you throughout the year and will find a way to get yo ass fired.

Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?

Last week media mogul Wendy Williams, or some may beg to differ and say Wendell Williams, made a rude comment that R&B singer Beyonce talks like she has a 5th grade education. Hmmmm...does her opinion say that there's something wrong with having a 5th grade education? Wasn't there a show called Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader where most of the adults weren't? Uh, exactly what were you saying, Wendy?

My daughter is in the 4th grade and comes home with math problems that I have to think about a few times before coming to the correct answer. Who does Albegra in the 4th grade? Hell, I don't use Algebra in my adult life. Does that mean I have a 3rd grade education?

A few websites posted Wendy's opinion which led to many other opinions, which led to mine. One person agreed with Wendy and added Beyonce can't talk and you can tell by her dumb song lyrics with all the OOOO's and grunting noises. Huh?

If song lyrics are any indication of intelligence most singers must be ig'nant.

Alicia Keyes -
No One - Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhhhh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhhhh....
Girl On Fire - Oooooooooh, oooooooooh, ooooooooh, ooooooooh....

Lenny Williams -
Cause I  Love You - Ohh, ooohhh, oooohh, ooooohh...

Michael Jackson -
Wanna Be Starting Something - ma ma se , ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa...('-')

Gina Thompson/Missy Elliot -
The Things You Do  - Pizzzow, Gomer be my Pyle like Sha-zam...hee hee hee hee how hee hee hee hee hee hee how...('-')

PSY -
Gangnam Style - Eh- sexy lady...oppan gang namseutayil o-oo-o...WTH? ('-')

Okay, I gotta stop or else this post will be labeled to be continued. I know Wendy Williams is a talker and a gossip lover. Why this particular comment from here irritated me so much I don't know. I do watch her show at times and applaud her for being successful in a tough business  Maybe it's because I'm a talker and I know that everybody doesn't speak well in public.  Folks get nervous. Yea Beyonce gets on stage and gets it IN, but maybe she has issues articulating things one on one. She didn't have any problem articulating to Jay Z. I don't see a problem there at all - just ask Blue Ivy. She dayum sure didn't have a problem articulating anything to Pepsi. 50 Million Dollars? Yea, that girl is definitely running her world!

The average 5th grader knows technology much better than I do.  They're honest with their words having not yet been tarnished by adults who are out for self so walk over your fellow man. If talking like a 5th grader will get  me a Grammy, millions of records sold, a hard working man and a future that I can't begin to comprehend because its so magnificent than in the words of Biz Markie, so go up your nose with a finger or two, and pull out one or a crusty crew...Pickin' Boogers...('-')

Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? Wendy, girl, how you doin'?

I luv you

Watch Out TV Land!

I was the guest host on The New 16, a local channel here in Albany NY. I didn't realize how cute I look on TV and took a few pictures! I might have to re-think my choice of a radio career - I don't want the world to hear my voice and miss out on all the rest of Miss Luv!

Kelly and Michael better watch out - Jim Steele and Miss Luv are coming for you!

I luv you

Thanksgiving Day Do's and Don'ts !

Avoid getting talked about behind your back and to your face by following these simple Thanksgiving Day tips!

 1. Don’t show up with one can of cranberry sauce, one bottle of wine, one liter of soda, or one paper plate. Keep your cheap ass at home...

 2.Do not take food to go for the week / bring your own Tupperware. A piece of dessert is fine, but a few loaded plates is NASTY FAT NASTY GREEDY!


 3.Even if the host says get comfortable, do not take your shoes off and put your feet up or take a nap. Ain't nobody tryin' to look at you like that...('-')

 4.Eat what is served…don’t ask do you have any blah, blah, blah. You don't even have it at home...cheap ass.

 5.Don’t try to be the life of the party. Choke your food down, shut-up and leave the first time the host yawns.

 6.If at any point you end up playing with the children or get moved to the kids table – leave. No one wants to be bothered with you anymore.

7.Don’t use the invitation as a babysitter. “Oh, I have to run to the store or, I forgot something at home.” Take your kids with you if you leave.

 8.NEVER touch the remote control or bring music from your collection. If you start playing an 80’s Thanksgiving CD and the kids wanna hear 2 Chainz yo ass it outta luck.

 9.Don’t embellish or compliment dishes you don’t like. Eat it, say thank you, and vomit later.

 10.If you take your own food because you're allergic to certain stuff, stay home! You’re not that special.


11 .Don’t ask has everyone eaten and plan to eat everything that’s left. That’s just Alien Greedy – some outta this world type hungry.

 12.House Hoppers – Ain’t nobody trying to feed you or be around you like that. It's not that serious.

13. Don't go straight for the liquor cabinet. Drunk dummy...

14. Don't take the last of anything and scrape the dish trying to get it out. YOU FATASS...

15. Don't invite your friends. You barely got an invite...dumbass

16. Talking on your cell phone or Social Media. Once again, you barely got an invite - you are NOT that important!

17. Dressing the part. If you choose to show up with a turkey on your sweater or pilgrim socks - you're stoopid...('-')

18.Don''t tell your Thanksgiving childhood stories. Nobody cares - shut yo' ass way up!

19. Don't make suggestions on how to cook something after you've eaten it.  Ya fat bastard know it all...

20. Leave with who you came with. You came by yourself, leave by yourself. Don't be the skank ass Thanksgiving Ho...('-')

Everybody Needs A Little Luv Entertainment is LIVE!

A Fall Out Comedy Show!

A Blessing of Judgment

The smallest thing can do so much for somebody. There was a woman standing on the corner asking for money to get something to eat. I told her I didn't have any and then thought that's why my ass is so fat; always eating and keeping it to myself. I was going to offer her $2 and thought what can $2 buy her? She'd have to ask all day just to get enough to get a burger. I was on my way to Subway and asked her did she want a something. Her face LIT up. As we were crossing the street she said.,

"You know I really like the tacos they have there."

There is a taco place inside, too.  When we approached the counter she became bolder. She stood prouder and told the girl behind the counter what she wanted. I asked did she want anything to drink and she choose root beer. It was good to hear her say it, but sad at the same time. Maybe she hadn't had it in so long and thought this was the last chance she'd get to taste it for awhile. She thanked me and sat down.

As I stood in the sandwich line I looked over at her a few times. I saw a woman in a fancy restaurant contemplating the days behind her and the days that lay ahead. I saw a father's daughter, a mother's child and the mother of  loving children. A wife waiting for her husband to pick her up from work and wondering what to cook for that nights dinner appeared.  I saw someone special.

For that short amount of time she felt validated; like she really belogned in society. She does. "We'" are so quick to judge.  "We" think all folks in a desperate predicament want it, wait for it and enjoy it when it comes. "We" don't know their story and we don't have to it. "We" are so high and mighty sometimes its sickening.

I'm thankful that my judgment didn't allow me to think I was better and that it couldn't happen to me. But by the Grace of God there go I. Six degrees of separation, one paycheck away, unemployment and $3000 in savings could equal the lady on the street. The world didn't change with my offer of a two hour filling meal, but hers did. I want to believe that she was given the strength to keep on pushin' to a place that was better than before. That there are good people out here who care.

We all judge. We operate in the flesh - that's what we do. If your judgment is not a blessing to you or someone else, hmmm, maybe you should give yourself a self examination. We're on this earth together, let's live like it, love like it and be a blessing in judgment to others!

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