2. Exactly what does heavily pregnant mean? One day or 9 months fat does not make a difference - yo' ass is gonna have a baby.
3. Dennis Rodman.
4. Folks talking about stuff you don't want to hear nor care about. Nobody asked - shut up.
5. Why did my cousin Erica bite me on the cheek when I was one? She was supposed to hug me - not bite me. I'm still mad about that.
6. Aretha Franklin's titties. You betta think...think...think about what you're tryin' to do to me.
7. When will the sequel to Forrest Gump be made? I have to find out if Forrest knew Bill Clinton did not have sex with that woman.
8. Dr. Drew should star in a reality show called Child Support Rehab. On second thought, maybe not.
9. Halitosis, chapped lips and trying to pick up women do not go hand in hand.
10. The Billboard Music Awards should always have Tracy Morgan as the host.
11. Bristol Palin should play Jodi Arias in a Lifetime Movie.
12.Going to jail and finding God after you've received a life sentence is a good thing.
13. Celebrities who cry when they get eliminated from reality show competitions are stupid. You really aren't that special after all.
14. Narcissistic people need Jesus.
15. Slim fat, medium fat and fat fat = fat girl in remission.
16. I can't believe that I had sex with you and said I liked it.
17. Number 16 made me throw up.
18. Pinterest is Pin the Tail on the Donkey for adults.
19. Kanye and Kim will get married, have 3 more children and live happily ever after.
20. OJ Simpson does the most with the least and we let him.
21. I love Flip Flops
23. Can you start over with a clean slate?
24. Your style never goes out of style.
25.Telling someone to fuck off instantly lowers your blood pressure.
26. To be continued...