Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Wait For Love:A Black Girl's Story / Excerpt

The first month of the new year is more than halfway over and I haven't posted a thing. I think it would soothe the souls of all that have missed me (smile, smile, smile)to make up my error to you all by posting an excerpt from my new novel, Wait For Love: A Black Girl's Story. Although my last post was titled Promotional Suicide, I believe in this instance that is not the case. A blog is a website-less individuals way of reaching readers so...

Wait For Love: A Black Girl's Story is available at all online book sellers, and by emailing yours truly at wanda_d_hudson@yahoo.com.



As my mild shock wore off I looked him in his eyes. A different man looked back at me. For the first time, I saw him as my husband and he saw me as his wife. He knew he wouldn’t deny me tonight.

“Are you sure this is what you want, Lynnde?”

“Desmond, let’s not talk anymore. I love you.”

Desmond began undressing me, working his way around my body from top to bottom, and back up once I was unclothed.

“Lynnde, you’re beautiful.”

He continued to kiss me and helped me to lie down on the floor. This was worth the wait. I lie on the floor caressing my body as Desmond undressed himself for my eyes to see. This was going to be perfect. He was going to be perfect for the rest of my life.

I admired Desmond’s naked body, which was quite pleasing, until my eyes saw “it.” What was “it,” you ask? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I’m not a day care provider. Why did all of a sudden I feel like I was in nursery school? Now I know why he made me wait so long. He knew I wasn’t going to get anything. I’d continue to wait if I’d known this.

Desmond’s penis was the size of a Chap Stick tube. No, no it wasn’t. It was more like the size of a Vicks inhaler that had nothing else left to inhale. Picture a sweet gherkin pickle? Or how about a fat free Vienna sausage? Does that help you to understand what my eyes didn’t see? I can’t believe I waited a year and a half for nothing. Good things come to those who wait my ass.

But, Lynnde, wait. You love him. He’s your soul mate. He’s perfect for you. You want to spend the rest of your life with him. Look at all the roses. Think of the poems. Think of how nice he was to you when you got sick at the club, remember? You’re his queen and he wants to take care of you. He loves you.

“He can’t take care of anything with that midget dick of his.”

“Okay, okay calm down. Sex isn’t everything. You can work this out.”

Oh no, he’s coming towards me and rubbing that little creature up and down my leg. Ugh. He’s having surgery. There has to be something out there that’ll help. A transplant, implant or a pump. Wait, not a pump. A pump will just make it look swollen, like a fat lip or something. I don’t want to do this at all. Right now, all I feel is disgust. He shouldn’t take too long. Damn, he’s kissing me and saying sweet nothings, and I’m really emphasizing the word nothing. I guess he’s really in the mood. My mind is so far away from this moment.

Now he’s trying to enter inside me. Ugh. All I feel is aggravation. Desmond is really enjoying himself. He’s really giving that little thing a workout. He keeps saying, “Oh, Lynnde, you feel so good.” How would he know? I guess I should look like I’m enjoying him, but all I want to do is tell him to get his earthworm out of me. I manage to say, “Desmond, you feel so good,” and “don’t stop.” Keep thinking how much you love him and how much he loves you. Those thoughts aren’t working. I want him to hurry up. Now he’s making a screeching noise. It sounds like car tires on a wet road that have just run over a hissing cat. If this is what his orgasms are going to sound like, I hope I go deaf tonight.

Stop it, Lynnde. Desmond loves you and will give you the world if he could. Good, he’s done. I hope he doesn’t talk. I hoped too late. He says he loves me and can’t wait for me to become his wife. I barely get out the words I love you in return and hear snoring. Oh, hell no. No pleasure for me and he’s asleep? You love him. You love him. You love him. That’s not working right now. Okay then, look at the ring and your roses. That’s not working either. No wonder that fool spent so much on the ring and wants to pay for the wedding. And who does he think is going to water all these flowers, and clean them up when they die?

Lynnde, sex isn’t everything and you know you love Desmond, right? “Yeah, right. But all of a sudden I feel used. He made sure I was in love with him before he let me see his Brown and Serve. Wait until we were committed to each other, my ass. He should be committed and promoted to the newborn baby club president. Ugh.

A tiny wet spot is on my inner thigh and I want to throw up. I sat up to take a closer look at what he thinks is a penis, but it retreated back inside itself. What I saw made me think if a fly had a penis this is what it would look like. Tsk, even his balls are little. They look like burnt, dried, button mushrooms. Lynnde!

Desmond’s boxer underwear are lying on the floor. First thing in the morning, I’m taking them to the store and get his money back. I’ll buy him a pack of toddler under-roos to replace them. Disgust won’t let me talk anymore. I hope I have some hard liquor in the cabinet because the only way I’m sleeping next to him is drunk. Hurry up tomorrow, because tonight has got to go.

© Wanda D. Hudson 2006


Sharon SHAYE Gray said...

This is SIZZLE SIZZLE hot hot. Wanda Love..

Man.. You know you got it going on. Can't wait to read the ENTIRE novel. Don't keep a sister waiting.

Your skills are amazing!

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Timothy N. Stelly, Sr. said...

Whew, sista Wanda! I loved your story. It is a no-holds-barred, but eloquent piece. For too long sistas have shrugged and said, "Oh well--it's the size of the wallet that counts!" Well not Lynnde--because she's obviously a woman who can geet it all, she just wants that extra something-something to make the pie complete.
I will definitely be checking out your work.

Timothy N. Stelly, Sr. (Stellbread)
P.S.--Thank you for your kind comments regarding my short story, "Pretty Packaging."

tommi said...

Hi Wanda:
It's Tommi again....

Thank you for sending me a copy of your novel..."Wait for Love - A Black Girl's Story". The cover and matching bookmarks are wonderfully designed! I also want to THANK YOU for having the courageous strength to expose the sisters represented in this novel. NO, it's not just Lynnette that had to experience the trials and tribulations while transferring into womanhood. This story is all too familiar to more than just a few of us!! Many women are given the goods without the instructions of how to properly handle them. I mean some young women develop so quickly, and perfectly and once they become "recognized" it is an overwhelming challenge. The body advances before the mind......and it can lead to T-R-O-U-B-L-E!!!

A copy of this novel should be sent to all high schools in the country and distributed to all FEMALE graduates as "Life's First Lesson 101 - How not to make a fool of yourself". I think that if you can reach out to them now, they won't have a chance to make some of the same mistakes that Lynnde made. Oh my goodness, her life was a constant roller coaster of issues, problems, fears, and risks. It all boils down to a lack of education - and not academically speaking....but a lack of knowing about Life and it's Teachings. When teenagers watch the videos, and television shows - all they see is "Beauty, Bling, and Luxury".....But what they fail to realize is "the length of time that it took for those models/actors and actresses to achieve that look". No one awakes to glamour, and the bling and luxury items are normally rented....I know through experience from the photo shoots that I've done, I personally go through metamorphism to get "the look". LOL.

Your ending message was beautiful, you must learn to love yourself. Not loving yourself is worse than any form of drug abuse, and is far more common than we realize. I think that when you're taught at a young age to compare yourself to others is a big mistake. We must learn that we all are different, and will look different. We all have varied tastes in clothing, food, and the relationships that we are attracted to. There should be something placed into the school curriculums called "ME TIME". It should be outlined as a course of getting to know yourself interpersonally first!

A lot of young girls experience those same insecurity issues that Lynnde had - but they're too afraid to admit it. Although Lynnde didn't think too highly of herself, I personally thought that the girl had it "going on" and just didn't know it. All of the men that she encountered told her how "beautiful" she was whether she was heavy or thin. She was very soft spoken, and reminded me a lot of her own mother - who loved unconditionally. She just kept herself emerged into the bank of self-pity and kept attracting the wrong type of men (like some of us still do now).

I recently completed a novel by Michelle McKinney Hammond..."Secrets of an Irresistible Woman". I kept yelling at Lynnde to pick up a copy. But then I realized Lynnde's story was written well before Michelle's time :-), but she has got to know that she is the one who determines her worth!! Wanda, you did an outstanding job with this story. I thought that I had heard it all....until I read this - LOL. Esta was an angel from heaven. It was her who constantly motivated Lynnde and loved her unconditionally. She gave Lynnde her life, so that Lynnde would finally have one of peace and serenity. Esta's passing helped Lynnde to finally mature, accept responsibility and love through Myles. This was well written.

Wanda have you thought about conducting any seminars for the empowerment of women, or young ladies? If not, please consider it. This story will help to encourage and motivate others to get their lives on track. I'll support your mission.

Please let me know when you'll be in the Charlotte area. We would love to meet with you. Thank you providing us with high quality literature, and keep up the superlative work!

Anonymous said...

I am sad reading this short bit of your book. She is angry! She felt cheated.. I wonder how many women are in this kind of situation today. Love without Sex is like having a bottle of gule that can't stick! I am mad at religions of the world that talk about no sex before marriage... it makes me think that it is something men came up to control or over up whatever they are doing!

I am captivated by your novel. I will love to get a copy from you.