What Are, "Things You Don't Say To A Comedian!"

1.Make me laugh...
2.That ain't funny...
3.That was funny, but listen to this...
4.Anybody can do stand up...
5.My cousin is real funny...
6. My son is real funny...
7. My daughter is real funny...
8. Everybody in my family is real funny...
9. I could've been a comedian...
10. Have you ever heard of....
11. I might come to your show...
12. You're kinda funny...
13. Oh, I didn't know you are a comedian...
14. Can I get a free ticket to your show...(free died ya dumbass)

15. You only won the contest because...
16. You were funnier last time...
17.You should let me write jokes for you...
18. Do you watch comedy shows...
19. You should go to my friends open mic...
20.Can you recommend a comedian to me for a party...
21. $5 for your DVD...
21.That was a joke...
22.That would've been funny if you said...
23. I saw a comedian last night who was real funny...
24.Are you funny all the time...(who in the %$^& is funny all the time)
25. I'll help you with your show for a small percent...